If you recall, my first divination in regards to a successful relationship resulted in The Secret to Staying Together, which requires that the couple both walk together so that their movements from one cycle to the next will be in synch and the couple will be able to transition from one cog to the next.
This is all well and good, but HOW does one go about doing that? My next divination delves into the secret of maintaining the relationship. We know that it is essential that the couple fall in love with each other over and over again, through the various cycles, but how to go about making it happen, that is the question I posed to the I Ching.
Dear I Ching, how can a couple traverse through their mutually chosen path so that they can have a successful relationship?
I got Hexagram #35 – Chin – Progress.
Above: Li: The Clinging Fire
Below: K’un: The Receptive, Earth
Progress. The powerful prince
Is honored with hourses in large numbers.
In a single day he is granted audience three times.
The sun rises over the earth:
The image of Progress.
This the superior man himself
Brightens his bright virtue.
The image is of the rising sun over the earth. The sun brings clarity to everything on earth, and allows for rapid easy progress, (as opposed to the slower progress of Sheng and Chien).
Hua Ching Ni’s translation of the I Ching says: The highest trigram, Li, suggests … the most important progress to be made is the development of virtue, which is achieved by continuous introspection, self-improvement and the gathering of energy. If one is impeded by external factors and cannot improve the situation, only the development of virtue promotes progress. As a result, everything changes.
The lowest trigram, K’un, is composed of all yin lines… Be receptive like the Earth. Instead of pushing forward blindly and creating failures and tragedies, wait until there is an appropriate response… When one maintains one’s true nature, things happen naturally and progress is made…. Progress is also made when difficulties are used positively… An obstacle can be beneficial even though it halts one’s movement, because it creates an opportunity to gather energy.
This, to me, is interesting in that it is the reversal of what I thought the hexagram is supposed to mean. In my understanding of the term Rapid Easy Progress, the couple should take decisive actions that will keep them rapidly and easily moving together and towards the next cog.
But that is NOT what Chin #35 is saying! There are four yin lines, three of which make up the base, which is K’un, the earth, and the earth is all about being receptive, being patient and allowing things to happen naturally. The only activity that is recommended is the development of the virtue, which will cause true progress to occur.
Furthermore, even if at the start, progress is not acknowledged by others, real benefit comes from continuing to do what is right, and remaining still so that the energy can be allowed to grow and to allow for things to happen naturally. In essence, it says that we cannot control what the other person does, we can only control the growth of virtue within each of us, and this, ALONE, will propel us in the quickest most efficient way towards our goal of moving to the next cog, together.
We may be a bit hesitant and unsure of ourselves, and we may meet with some difficulties at the start, but I Ching, as translated by Wilhelm, advises us to keep steady in our efforts and ‘remain persevering… This happiness comes… and is well deserved because in this case mutual attraction does not rest on selfish or partisan motives but on firm and correct principles‘. As long as our efforts stem from a good place we should ‘continue in what is right; in the end this will bring good fortune’.
Huang translated text says: This gua expounds the principle of proceeding. If one’s strength is great, one is able to progress and contribute one’s talent to society. It is like the rising sun shining upon all beings on the Earth. In the process of proceeding, one’s motivation should be pure. If the situation is not smooth, one should remain steadfast and upright and hold to the principle of the Golden Mean. Then people around will lend support. Proceeding should be stable, gradual, and steady. The key is keeping steadfast and upright; then there will be good fortune.
So… the message is– slow and steady, and look for progress from within. Next thing you know, you’ve achieved that successful relationship, without having to struggle and expend precious energy trying to force the situation.