Another fruitless day in search of something that should be there, but cannot be found. Another dead end to scratch off my list of what could have been and might have been but is no longer visible, or without enough substance to substantiate.
I guess it goes without saying that this is fairly common for the type of work that I am doing, even though the work itself can hardly be called common.
If it was something easy, like writing up something that has already been proven and accepted, I would have so many pieces of resources to look at that it would be akin to writing up a simple, documented report. When the subject matter is so esoteric and/or so freaking old that material is difficult to come by, I then have to hunt and scrounge for tidbits of scattered clues everywhere.
Some rare scraps are written in books that are so old that even after having scoured the internet looking for them, they cannot be obtained because they are out of print and there are no available copies to be had.
In other cases, all I can do is look, longingly at titles that promise a gem of truth, but the book in question exists only in a library that I have no access to, such as one found in huge universities that do no inter-library loans. Since I am neither student nor alumni of said libraries, the books are forever out of reach.
And then there are times when an amazing book only exists in another country, and is written in German, or Sumerian, or Hanzi, some such arcane language that I cannot read. It might as well be from outer space, as accessible as that is.
Heck, even some ancient Vietnamese books are quite often, out of reach for me, even with multiple trips back to my homeland in futile attempts to locate the material.
Don’t even get me started on material that’s transcribed from binary codes. Or mathematical equations. Or worse yet…alien scripts that have never been able to be decoded, like this amazing, colorful book filled with pictures of plants and star systems, written in long-hand, words that do not exist in any known Earth language.
The Voynich Manuscript, carbon-dated to the 1400s
But it’s not just books. Written material that had been posted online, quite often disappear, sometimes overnight. It’s not good enough to save links to documents and articles. There have been numerous times when I would go back to a link and it would be dead.
I actually have to utilize a wiki that has been created specifically for my needs, that lives on my own server located inside my house. I then have to do the laborious, painstaking job of documenting, sorting, filing hundreds upon hundreds of pages of information to be used as source documentation.
I swear. I sometimes feel like a starving grad student, pushing on wind mills for no reason other than the work needs to be done, and knowing that none of this work will ever result in any PhD.
When I hit such stumbling blocks, I do one of two things. I go to the local chicken place and order up a large basket of southern fried chicken to fortify myself, and then I go get a large latte to drown my sorrows.
Or I go fill up a bath tub with some hot water, add some scented oil, light a couple of candles, and go into meditative bathe mode. How long I stay in depends on how much cold I can handle. When it gets too cold, my meditation time is over.
And then I’m back to the grindstone again.
11 thoughts on “Midnight Ranting of a Tired and Grouchy Taobabe”
Guten Morgen Taobabe,
Did you ever thought writing, drawing a “comic” book about taobabe’s experiences in her world? I think you should do it. And in some future days my than teenage grandchild girl could be impressed with Taobabe and her universe. Nice post, thank you. Anna
😦 Poor Taobabe, I hope you got a chance to get some rest and feel better. Hang in there, you’re doing an immense service in your writing.
I have never thought of making a graphic novel or comic book. The artwork required is intense. I would have to hire manga artists to do that, and I don’t make any money off this site at all. I do it for the love of learning and to share what I know with everyone. I am an artist, and I do draw, but if I did that, then I would have to cut back on my writing, which takes up a lot of time. Since I am currently working on a book, I have been dedicating most of my time to writing, as opposed to drawing or painting or sculpting, all of which I love to do, in my copious free time.
Thank you. I try my best, every day. There is a lot of information out there, and to get at the truth means we have to work at it, a little at a time. A good chunk of my day is used to ferret out information from some small clue. It’s tedious and boring, but once in awhile, when I hit a mother lode, it’s exhilarating beyond words. This is what keeps me working…for no pay, no gain, no glory, no university degree, no nothing. It’s all about the knowledge, all about the wisdom to be gained, all about the truths uncovered.
So glad you have rebounded to that brush
…from that brush with one of the limits :)))
Allan, are we talking about the same ‘brush with one of the limits’ I’m thinking of? The ones that terrified me in the middle of the night…until I got serious 24/7 protection from other divine beings?
Yeah…those took me out of the writing mode for about 3 years. In fact, every time I disappear from this website for months at a time, it’s because I have been seriously warned off. But I’m like water. I keep creeping back to the website, filling up the shallows and the concavities with my thoughts.
That, and I trust in the powers of my ‘body guards’. 🙂
The dependability of our ‘higher powers’ appears at the most unexpected times…thanks for maintaining the courage and allowing the vulnerability necessary to continue with helping to light the Way :))
During the winter I realized New Zealand and Iceland are almost antipodal…they are also both on dual tectonic plate boundaries…both have active volcanoes.
Now, just discovered NZ is atop ‘Zealandia’, another sub-sea continent related to Gondwana. Quite ancient too, and the source of embedded zircons found in the mantle;;;
hi Allan! I believe that the drowning of Zealandia occurred at the same geological timespan as the drowning of Sundaland, parts of Australia, the areas off the coast of India, and the Bermuda Triangle area.
There were 3 separate floodings, 14,000, 11,500, and the most recent, 8,000 years ago, when waters that were locked up under ancient glaciers were set forth. With the coming of the warmer climate, we will see more water released from the poles which will cause more flooding.
Our astronomic cycle is heading towards the warmer side of the cycles, and all it would take would be a conjoining of two cycles heading the same way for our temperatures to spike upwards.
Over last few months have been gathering this kind of info because it seems to relate to Lianshanyi, (continuous mountain change) and entropy, chaos, randomness, superforecasting…