Something Very Dark Out There

I am a child of the light.  I revel in brightly lit places and seek the bright pools of light in any darkened areas.  My favorite time of the year is summer time, and I have a very strong affinity towards the longest day of the year (don’t ask me why, I honestly don’t know).  My favorite color is yellow (well, actually it’s pink, but for the purpose of this post, I am temporarily making yellow my favorite color) and my favorite chord progression is C major (because it’s cheerful and I like the position that it occupies on my guitar).

My astrological sign is Sagittarius, which gives me an affinity for that light-giving element of fire (well…technically, ever since the precession of the equinox, I’ve been demoted to Scorpio with a fixed water sign, since my birthday lands on the 24th of November.  This is quite distressing, as I have never thought of myself as a Scorpio, not to mention the fact that Scorpio has been almost completely kicked out of the zodiac, with only seven days left of its reign!).

And speaking of precession of the equinox, I find it highly curious that this phenomenon is blamed on the Earth, since obviously, it can’t be the Earth wobbling on its axis.  I mean…think about it.  If this is the case, why then do all the comets always come around within the same band of space every time it comes around, but I get displaced from Sagittarius to Scorpio?  And why in heck is the angular momentum of the planets so fast as compared to what the sun is able to produce with its gravitational pull?  Let’s not even mention that strangely empty ring around us beyond the Kuiper Belt.  It looks like somebody quite fat ran around and cleaned out the trash in that area.

All this points to a large celestial body out there somewhere that is doing a dance with old Sol, and causing quite a bit of discombobulation every time it comes around.  I have been looking up in the night sky, but I don’t see anything.  In fact, lots of people have been looking for this disturbance, but nobody sees anything.  If it is big enough to cause the huge spike in angular momentum of the planets, it can’t be some small planet.  In fact, it can’t even be some big planet.  If the math is correct, it has to be something HUGE.  However, if we can’t see it, it’s gotta be something really big, and really dark.  Very Dark.  And all I can think of that could be this dark and this big has to be some black star out there that ol’ Sol has been dancing with.

I can only imagine that when it comes around again, as it must, there would be hell to pay.  We would be either torn asunder or blasted with photons until we ascended into the next dimension.  Either way, it’s going to be a crazy crazy ride.

I wonder if the fourth dimension has moon pies.  Haven’t had one of those in a long long time…

Speaking of moon…let me tell you that The Moon Does Not Lie.